"$16 for a Goddamn bunny!"
Woman leaving Rye Playland with her child.
Rye Playland
Saturday, May 8 2004 (Opening Day)
Crowds/Weather: Heavy/Warm-Sunny
Mike & Cla: Our plan was to leave at 10:30AM to make sure we were around for the opening at Noon. Well, we left Queens at around 12:30PM. In our defense, we're trying to make this a practice run for the real trip in 2 weeks so there was lots of last minute "forgot packing."
We ran out of the food we packed by the middle of the day and there was no re-entry into the parking lot. We learned that if we want to avoid park food we're going to need to have a lot more food with us then what we brought today.
I had made a hummus sandwich for myself, 2 for Mike, a goodie for each of us and fruit too. I was proud of myself. It was cute, kinda like the lunch mom would pack. But it still wasnt sufficient and we had to eat some park food. Why is park food so foul? I have to get better with the food or we're gonna look like Shamu by the time we see him.
Park Rating
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: Rye is a family park. It's not only that, it's also a very pretty family park with a unique and classic selection of family rides. It's also a very, very expensive park, which befits it's location in Westchester, one of the richest counties in America.
I'm sure if I was a rich man with a family from Westchester, I'd treasure Playland. Unfortunately, I'm a poor thrill seeker from Queens. So while I'm happy I got to experience Playland's very fun and classic dark ride collection, I won't be returning soon.
Cla: 2.2 out of 5
Playland is quite quaint. I dont really have much bad or good to say about it. All of its attractions are pay per ride (with tickets) which sucks 'cause it makes the park significantly more expensive and you have to make sure you have tickets if you wanna keep riding rides. That's incidental though and doesnt really change my opinion of the park.
CRAZY MOUSE (mouse roller coaster)
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: Tight turns, kind of boring but a little fun. A kid coaster without the label.
Cla: 2.75 out of 5
Comments: The ride ops let me on with a candy apple! Except that they told me to keep it down so no one could see it (so i could only keep one arm in the air). I love it when people don't follow rules! (especially when the rules are stupid).
About the coaster: Mousie coasters should be more fun than they actually are. The whip around the turns weren't really jarring (like they should have been). It's a good after lunch coaster.
DRAGON COASTER (wooden roller coaster)
Cla: 2.75 out of 5
Comments: In my memory this coaster is a lot more fun to ride than it was. I went to playland on a school trip in the 6th grade. That was before 1989 when they replaced the classic cars with idiot-proof ones. Of course, in 6th grade my friends and I were idiots, and we stood up on the coaster. Standing up makes this coaster much more fun. However, standing also makes it much more fatal. Especially when you go in to the dragon (tunnel) with all the low beams!
Some of the beams are so low I feared for Mike's arms (which are long cause he's tall). As a matter of fact, it really doesnt matter whether you hold your arms up or not, since there is no real air time. The one thing that the coaster has going for it is that its really long. Our arms were kinda tired from holding them up the whole time, especially with such little return for their effort.
One of the ride ops complemented my sneakers (which I have to admit are pretty cool). After the second ride i gave him a buisness card, and he thought the trip was cool, complimenting us again! Thanks! I forgot to look at his name though.
Mike: 3 out of 5
Comments: I've never met a wood coaster I didn't like and this is no exception. However, this one is pretty darn tame. There's a little fun to be had in the back seat but really not enough of a difference to make it a "must ride in the back" kind of coaster. There was a small amount of jackhammering for a few moments in the back but not enough to be truly unpleasent. Regardless, we both enjoyed the front seat more for the view. However the front is a tricky seat to get as there is a "you can't wait for a specific seat" rule. At $4-$5 a ride you'll spend a fair amount of money trying to luck into the front seat. There are fun parts to the coaster like a dragon tunnel with mist for breath, a great view, and some low pieces of wood, but in the end you understand why there are all those signs begging you to not stand up. The perfect coaster for your little kid whose looking to graduate to bigger coasters.
SUPER FLIGHT (steel flying coaster)
Mike: Closed
Comments: The track pieces are spread out across the parking lot so don't expect it to be open soon.
Cla: But it looked cool all apart, like a puzzle.
YE OLD MILL (dark ride)
Mike: 3 out of 5
Comments: Dark water ride that almost tells a linear story before completely breaking apart into incoherence. Long passages of black with no sound. The cheezeball animatronics are hella cool.
Cla: 2.25 out of 5
Comments: Dark boat ride - cheezy cute and you do get wet. There are long stretches of darkness to soul kiss and touch your girlies tits.
ZOMBIE CASTLE (dark ride)
Cla: 3 out of 5
Comments: Fun flashing lights! - cool electrocution and zombie cannabalism scenes paired with a bumpy track. The monsters talkin' to you are cool too. Sucks though that you can't sit in the front seat until the back is filled.
Mike: 3 out of 5
Comments: A traditional dark ride that's more fun than I thought it would be. Lots of campy gore scenes, clear cheezy sound and cute tricks make this a fun ride, if only for once. We left with a smile.
THE FLYING WITCH (dark ride)
Mike: 3 out of 5
Comments: Zombie Castle's more affluent sister has a really cool exterior, offers more tricks, but suffers per scene due to too much sound overlapping and accidental sneak glimpses of what lies ahead. Still a really cool dark ride, though.
Cla: 4 out of 5
Comments; Yay! It's pretty fast and fun for a dark ride. There are lots of twists and turns and (bonus!) The track is not flat, it has hills! The scary animatronics are pretty cool too! I still wasn't frightened (but then again, I'm jaded). In all I was pleased and impressed. Disclaimer: If you have sensitive hearing, like me, some of the sounds may be too loud but it's still worth it.
WHIP (Classic Whip)
Cla: 2.37 out of 5
Is a neato old flat ride on an oval track. In the teeny bucket car you get flung around the corners with more centrifical force than you'd think. Its cool that it is a classic old thriller my daddy's age.
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Whips are hella cool, but also a little boring. They are kinda like PBS, classical music and National Public Radio. I;m very happy that they exist but i don't necessarily want to watch it, hear it, or ride it.
Auto Scooters (bumper cars)
Mike: 1.5 out of 5
Comments: These bumper cars were pretty boring. One direction operation is enforced by the ride ops and this combined with lots of kids meant I only got one good hit against Cla.
Cla: 2.25 out of 5
Comments: The fact that this ride doesn't have music detracts from its points. The ride ops repeated themselves ad naseum: one way only, no hats, no glasses, no running. Ride Nazis. It was an average bumper cars nothing like the cool Brooklyn's Coney Island ones.
DERBY RACER (classic derby racer)
Cla: 3.8 out of 5
Comments: Fun! It was 3x the speed of a carousel with similar horses. The horses move back and forth on a track as well as up and down to simulate racing. This ride might be too fast for some people, but not for me. The ride ops standing on the moving platform lean forward so that you think they're leaning on something or gonna fall over but its really 'cause of centrifical force.
Mike: 3 out of 5
Comments: This is what carousels would be like if carousels didn't suck. Score another one for Rye for having another ride that allows guests to risk injury.
HOUSE OF MIRRORS (walkthrough)
MIKE: 2.75 out of 5
Comments: I'd like to say the mirrors are so dirty the effect doesn't work except that Cla ran into a wall. It's nice in this age of litigation to find an attraction that's trying to make you bump into shit. Good, old school fun.
Cla: 3.5 out of 5
Comments: They should have a max # of people allowed inside the house, based on the number of 8 year old children that almost assaulted me running by. There were so many of them doing it that I thought they must be on to something. So I started running and ran almost full speed into a plexiglass panel. My knee is going to have a beautiful bruise. When you're in the funhouse part of it (with the warped mirrors) stand back as far as you can for maximum effect. I think this is my all around favorite attraction.
MIND SCRAMBLER (indoor scrambler)
Cla: 2 out of 5
Comments: This ride seems like it hasn't been remodeled since 1983. It has scratched mirrors covered with something that looks suspiciously like spit. The ride itself is a standard scrambler in the dark. The rider is treated to top 40 music, there are black lights, mirrors, neon paint and disco ceiling lights. Tickling Mike and singing along to the music at the top of my lungs made it more fun. It is a classic ghetto ride.
Mike: 2 out of 5
Comments: It's a tent over a scrambler. Cheezy psychadelic lights with blasting "alternative" rock make this the perfect place to try to cop a feel while making out with your girlfriend if you're 15. As I'm a bit older then that and married this ride wasn't all that.
SKY FLYER (?? - Flat)
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: Anything that makes me go upside down in a circle is going to get a minimum of a pleasurable reaction from me. Sky Flyer is one such ride.
Cla: 2.4 out of 5
Comments: Upside down dual and flippy ride with one axle. I liked it. I like going upside down except we had just ate. I'm also usually afraid of this type of ride because of my emetophobia so I've never been on one. I like hanging upside down with my ass completely off the seat held in by the OTSR.
CAROUSEL (Classic Carousel)
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: It's a very beautiful carousel and the horses look fantastic. Unfortunately it's been wedged between food stands and other rides so it is denied being the centerpiece it most certainly should be and feels kind of claustrophobic. A ride like this either belongs in the center of the park or near the water, not wedged in between and behind other attractions and rides.
Cla: 2.2 out of 5
Its a nice merry-go-round. This ride loses points for not having music. The horsies are carved nicelely and have hair and fur tails, which i appreciate (i hope its not made out of real dead animal skin). I wonder, why do they carve merry-go-round horsies with their tounges hanging out, it doesnt seem right. I mean, don't real horses only do that when theyre getting beaten and overworked? (its not a nice image)