"This park is totally empty, yet somehow we're managing to stand in line all day."
---my friend Dan

Six Flags New England
Saturday May 16th
Crowds/Weather Light/Seventies-Overcast

Mike: Entering day 2 of our weekend we were all a little grumpy. The weather was cold in the morning, we were all slightly under-slept and sore, and pulling all our shit together to get out of a motel room is always a pain in the ass. Despite waking up at 7:30AM, sluggish movement led to us not reaching the park until 11AM, which wasn't so bad as we arrived to a nearly empty parking lot.

Park Review:
Mike: (without Superman and waterpark) 2 out of 5
Comments: It's an interesting test of a park to visit when it's signature attraction is closed. This was the case for my visit to Six Flags New England as the Superman coaster, one of the best roller coasters in America according to enthusiasts, was closed due to a ride accident in previous weeks. I've just learned that it is likely that this will be the case for my visit to Six Flags America as well as their Superman ride is now scheduled to be reopened on June 6, five days after our visit. Hopefully, Six Flags America will hold up better as a park without their Superman roller coaster then Six Flags New England did.

To me, there's no such thing as a bad amusement park, but SFNE with the Superman coaster and the waterpark closed comes very close. The park in this condition has all of the flaws of a Six Flags park, with none of the advantages. Our rather mediocre day was redeemed by Thunderbolt, meeting up with a fellow enthusiast we had never met in "real life" before and who we quite liked, and Dark Knight.

Houdini's Great Escape (um... dark ride?)
Mike: 3.5 out of 5
Comments: This ride has a certain charm to it that I've never seen in any other Six Flags rides. There's a certain... quality here. Oh wait, there's a woman shouting in Spanish on a cell phone during the pre-show and a teenage girl in Six Flags get-up wandering around in her bright uniform giving instruction with absolutely no enthusiasm at all in this otherwise surprisingly well themed attraction. Ok, we're still in a Six Flags park, after all. Regardless, this ride is absolutely a cut above the rest.

Both Craig and Dan had ridden this ride at Great Adventure, and suggested we should go on it there as well, as there were additional improvements in that version. No problem from me, this attraction was a whole lot of fun that I'd gladly experience again.

Blizzard River (Rapids Ride)
Mike
3 out of 5
Comments: Um... it's a White Water Raft ride. It's kind of humorous how tightly the ride ops are restraining everyone ("We won't lose another!"), even on this ride, in which the accidents that do happen occur when people can't get OUT of their seatbelts after the raft flips over. Despite getting roped by a over-zealous teenager fresh out of some "how to avoid accidents at Six Flags" team meeting, it was a fun ride. I believe Cla will be dragging me kicking and screaming on white water rapids rides all trip, so I will attempt to figure out some way to differentiate them in quality if only to relieve my ass numbing boredom while on them. Actually, I'm being too harsh, as my rating shows I found this ride fun.

Jokers Wild Card (Indoor Trabant)
Mike: 0 out of 5
Comments: A fairly well themed and dark queue area leads to a well lit garage with a crappy looking trabant inside. A no single rider rule leads to our friend being seated with what appeared to be the largest single rider they could find on the outside line. Ride time was mercifully short. Lacking music, we spun up and down in silence, what weak lighting effects available distilled by the copious amounts of sunlight washing through the partially functioning wall fans near the ceiling.

Superman: Ride of Steel (Da Bomb)
Mike: Closed
Comments: Wah! Man! This sucks!

We got to ride this puppy three times last year and loved it. Here's a prayer to the coaster gods they don't change anything about the ride experience while it's closed as it's perfect as it is (well, perfect for us at least). We'll be back in October with our "bring a friend free" coupons, hoping all is well and a review can go to the website.

Flashback (Vekoma Boomerang Steel Coaster)
Mike: N/A
Comments:
See review for Zoomerang. As I've ridden Flashback already last year and ridden almost the exact same ride yesterday, we opted to skip.

Thunderbolt (Older then my parents wood coaster)
Mike: 4.25 out of 5
Comments: Thunderbolt's a quite fun, older wood coaster that didn't suffer from the lines and operations Riverside Cyclone had for the rest of the day. It's also a more consistent and coherent ride then Cyclone, though nowhere near as dangerous and out of control feeling. We would probably have marathoned on this one if not so tired and facing a three hour drive upon leaving the park.

Riverside Cyclone (wood coaster)
Mike: 4 out of 5
Comments: It's braked to hell, single train operation and the ride ops are slower then molasses and have an infuriating habit of performing redundant actions while the train sits empty. Who cares, it's still a lot of fun. Lots of moments of severe and violent throwing of my body in various directions combined with hellish screeching give this ride the feeling of a car accident. In a good way, I think.

Due to ride operations, about 15 people before the wood ramp equalled into about a 15 minute wait for no specific seat. Later in the day, we would see a queue of at least 30-40 people before the ramp, making us decide to pass every time. It's not that I hate a 30 minute line, I merely hate a 30 minute line that just. won't. move.

I'll dare say that a 45 minute line that moves the whole time (like say, Nitro) is more enjoyable for me then a 20 minute line that barely moves at all. Reaching the platform and seeing the slow motion acrobatics the ride ops are going through and their total lack of energy makes the whole experience even more painful.

Nightwing (Flat ride; dunno type)
Mike: 2.75 out of 4
Comments: This ride looks fantastic in action and spins people upside down so it gets the requisite points from me. The coffin-like cars get additional bonus points for scaring the hell out of children. Every ride cycle seemed to pause interminably as freaked out after freaked out child back the hell out of the nightmare coffin cars. The short ride time on this one was fine by me due to the combination of spinning and claustrophobia. Nightwing is definitely better in a short burst, no Coney Island ride cycles needed here.

Carousel (um... guess?)
Mike: N/A
Comments: SFNE management forcing a teenager to tighten my "seatbelt" on a carousel that travels at the speed of molasses is just too embarrassing for everyone concerned. Forcing him to then walk up to each passenger (including us grown adults) and state "make sure to keep both hands on the bar in front of you" is as mortifying for us both as being caught getting a ride with your parents to the mall when you're a teenager. However, thanks to corporate diligence and this hard working little tyke, the SFNE carousel of death was denied it's ability to violently eject any passengers. This time.

Batman The Dark Knight (Floorless steel coaster)
Mike: 4 out of 5
Absolutely not located anywhere near the Superhero section of the park, Batman The Dark Knight is a fun, smooth, B&M floorless that is hindered by its short duraction and lack of any high excitement. Still fun though. Like all floorless and suspended coasters your ride will be much improved in the front, but the short ride time on this one may not be worth the long wait for it on a crowded day. Points to SFNE for the consistent 2 train operation on this train today, making this coaster with light crowds a sub 10 minute wait all day.

Mind Eraser (Vekoma Suspended Looping Coaster)
Mike: 2.75 out of 5
Comments: The ride name that begot a million bad jokes, this rough and crazy suspended looping coaster is more fun then enthusiasts give it credit but less fun then the long lines would suggest.