Trip Report for Six Flags America
6/1
Crowds/Weather: Light/Sunny-Showers
“You gotta show no mercy when you check the seats. Just slam it down and keep on going.”
Batwing Ride Op
Park Rating
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: Six Flags America was our worst park experience yet and I suspect it will be the worst of the trip. As high as Knoble’s or Hershey and Dorney have raised the bar for what makes a great park, Six Flags America has lowered the bar for what makes a bad park. Anecdotes over what makes this park such a poor experience are both too small and numerous to mention in a short summary. Mentioning only one would come off as nitpicking, it’s the culmination of all of them through the day that makes for a bad experience and, essentially, a very bad park.
In addition to bad operations, 3 coasters were closed and a fourth was down for about half the day. This had nothing to do with the 45 minutes of rain late in the day. For about 45 minutes after the rain, with nothing but sun and clear skies, only 2 roller coasters were operating.
Unfortunately, Six Flags America has 3 roller coasters I thought were great. And that’s not counting the 3 I couldn’t ride (though I’ve heard I didn’t miss much). This park having 3 great coasters is like an 8 year old being given a Faberge egg to play with.
Clarisse: 2.4 out of 5
Clarisse’s Park Comments: I’m much pettier than Mike, so I have some choice things to say. First of all, the quote on the top is not made up, we really heard that on line. Thanks. I’m glad that the ride ops are considerate of riders as well as safety conscious.
On a ride on roar, my lap bar just opened when the ride op checked. He checked again, when it worked we were sent out. Of course nothing happened but it made for a more thrilling ride.
We noticed on wild one that they were running a completely empty train between the cars that they loaded. When I asked why, a ride op responded, “Because then there wouldn’t be a line”. That response was so nonsensical and ridiculous, it left me speechless. I should have responded ‘Ummmm, and since when is no line a bad thing? They ran the ride like this all day.
On Shipwreck Falls we came across another type of ride op – the asshole. The boat we got on was full on the exit platform side so I couldn’t put my bag down. I held my bag out to him and he looked at me speechless like I was an idiot. I could have accepted (and expected) a ridiculous answer such as ‘park employees are not allowed to handle guests’ property” Instead, he just looked through me. Some kid took my bag and threw it to the side; which allowed us to ride, but also put our camera in severe jeopardy. It was fine.
This park's patrons freaked me out. For the first time on this trip, I felt like I didn’t fit in (which I should get used to I suppose). Also the racism here was so palpable I could have reached out and touched it. I heard comments like “Ghetto people make me laugh.” I wish I had ripped off her perky little white girl nose and shoved it up her ass, and then set fire to her bouncy blond ponytail! BITCH!
Roar
Mike: 4.8 out of 5
Comments: It’s just a teensy bit too rough to be the perfect experience I want it to be. That said, it’s a very, very good wood twister with enough airtime and surprises (at least in the back seat) to make me want to ride over and over.
Clarisse: 3.4 out of 5
Comments: This ride is replete with banked turns. It also hurls you from side to side. Big busted woman alert! This ride requires a good supportive bra to hold your mammaries in place over the bumps and significant airtime.
Superman: Ride of Steel
Mike: 5 out of 5
Comments: For me at least, the new restraints did not hurt the ride experience. I loved it. Yes, the Superman at SFNE is better, but this one is still a fantastic coaster. One major flaw, however, possibly a disaster is the loading times with the new restraints. People say that it’s the ride ops not used to it yet are wrong. This will now always take a really long time to load. Part of the problem is it appears that if a park guest pulls their own restraint down, the ride ops need to start all over again.
Moving past the restraints, this is a great ride. But don’t expect to marathon on this coaster with the new restraints. Ever.
Clarisse: 4.93 out of 5
Comments: On my first ride, my shoulder and an unsuspecting cicada collided. That experience really doesn’t change my opinion of the ride, but of course it did make me think that Superman coasters have tasted blood and decided it likes it…It is phreaky to realize that a part of your body is an innocent instrument of death…
About the coaster now, I’ve marathoned on its sister in New England; but that didn’t jade my thrill of the first drop, at all. It is SICK! I fondly remember the helix and bunny hills.
About the restraints now, understandably, they really really don’t want a repeat of what happened in New England. They pulled on the seat belt so tight and pushed down on the lap bar so hard that I was bulging around them. I could understand bulging out of the restraints if I was fat, but I’m not (I’m a solid size 8). There really was no reason to cinch me in like a sausage. The restraints also change the feeling of airtime. They don’t alter the negative g’s, but they do stop your ass from leaving the seat. With all due respect to the poor guy who pioneered all these changes, I’m slightly annoyed that my experience is altered.
Penguins Blizzard River
Clarisse: 3.25 out of 5
Comments: The inflatable raft on this puppy lends to a pretty comfy ride. The raft and slide are both appropriately decorated in patches of yellow, blue and red. The raft spins continuously on the way down creating a dizzying ride that is made psychedelic by the matching colors whirling by.
Mike: 2.75 out of 5
Comments: I enjoyed this short and spinning raft ride a lot more then your average river rapids ride. However, note that it’s a short ride and you don’t get wet, so it’s not really worth a long line.
Wild One
Mike: 4.95 out of 5
Comments: A near perfect wood coaster experience. I wish I could have ridden more then 2 times but truly horrid ride operations at this park prevented me. The lack of any real drop I feel makes this coaster fall short but with only 2 rides I’m not entirely sure.
Clarisse: 3.2 out of 5
Comments: This is a mildly rickety wood coaster with no significant hills. There is a nice helix, and suh-weet airtime. Its fun, but not a fav of mine. More rides could have turned me to the wild side…
Batwing
Clarisse: 4.7 out of 5
Comments: Flying rides are fun! Except you don’t really feel like you’re flying, you feel like you’re strapped into a completely unnatural contraption. There are a few notable differences between this ride and Great Adventure’s Superman ultimate flight. First of all, Batwing is better, compared Superman UF feels like a one trick pony. Secondly, you start the ride lying on your back, not hanging downwards. We rode this puppy in the rain, which hurt. The ride before ours got sent out in a total downpour, and since it was 2 train operation, they were stranded outside lying on their backs. I liked it better when it wasn’t raining.
Mike: 4.3 out of 5
Comments: A flying coaster with more fun elements then Ultimate Flight but with the small problem that I got a pounding headache every time I rode it. I can’t put my finger on why but I suspect it starts with “V” and ends with “a.” Still, Cla didn’t get a headache so maybe it’s just me.
Shipwreck Falls
Clarisse: 3.67 out of 5
Comments: This chute the chute ride (boat ride up a hill and down with a splash) has the biggest splash I’ve ever seen. Really. A HUGE tsunami arcs out in front of the boat, and as the boat continues to travel forward, passengers get thoroughly drenched as the wave comes down on them. You get so wet, I didn’t mind that a kid with a retainer accidentally spit on me as he was yelling excitedly to his friend. I did slightly mind that the water was a lovely shade of medium grey. It looked like dirty sock laundry water. At least I REEKED of chlorine afterwards.
A kid on top of the splash bridge (where non passengers can get soaked by the spray) said that the last splash was so strong he got knocked backwards!
Mike: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: Boring old chute ride. Positive points for putting the splash bridge where anyone in the park can access it (and indeed, where people can accidentally get soaked as it’s a commonly used bridge). Negative points for running the turn leading to the drop with… get this…. ALMOST NO WATER. I’m not kidding. Upon getting off the lift hill, look forward to the loud and horrid sound of raft ride and rubbing metal as it turns basically dry. Oh, and the color of the water itself is reminiscent of the Coney Island log flume water. Ewwww!
Two Face, Jokers Jinx, and Typhoon Sea Coaster
ALL CLOSED
All the above attractions were closed with no reason given. Charming.
Also, I saw nothing concerning Python. I guess this coaster is gone.