Trip Report for Vegas
7/13/04
Crowds/Weather: Hot/Crowded
Park Rating
Clarisse: 4 out of 5
Clarisse’s Park Comments: If you find yourself in Vegas you’re probably there to gamble, drink, or fuck prostitutes. But there are asides from this debauchery, like amusement park rides! There’s really no reason to come to Vegas for the rides; and there is no reason not to ride the rides if you’re in Vegas. Vegas has enough amusement park related stuff in it to fill a small park, but everything in Vegas is really spread out. So to get from one attraction to the other you have to take a cab (or the spiffy new monorail that’s been broken since they opened it).
You can’t walk around in Vegas, its too damned hot. The whole city has that mirage effect where you think everything is much closer than it is (probably cause everything is so huge, and it’s in the middle of the desert).
If you’re into racing simulation games, get an all day pass for them at the Sahara. They’re decent, and fun, but they are hard. So stay a while, play a while and watch yourself get better and better.
At the Stratosphere the elevators in here go up 3 floors per second which makes your ears pop a lot. The tower is 840 feet high and with the elevators going up 21 miles per hour the elevators could almost be a ride in and of themselves. Except for the part that it’s not that much fun to be in a crowded elevator. GO DURING THE DAY. Yeah yeah yeah. You wanna see the lights and do the attractions at night. I wanted to, too. But is that experience worth 1 or 2 hours on line? You decide. Because that was the decision we had to make. Hey if you’ve won at the tables, maybe you can pay someone to wait for you!
At the Paris hotel, you can take an elevator up to the top of the Eiffel tower. The tower is 440 feet high. And like the Stratosphere, it gives a nice view. We went up here at night, so we had the glittery lights view, which is impressive but only from some angles. There is a nice view of the Bellagio fountains from one of the sides, but I couldn’t really see it cause it was so crowded. Oh yeah, its really crowded up here. The top of the Eiffel tower is a small space with lots of people in it, but at the very least it is an open structure, so you can breathe… kind of. Save your money if you’re claustrophobic. Then again we went at night, and if the Eiffel Tower is anything like the Stratosphere, then it will be manageable during the day.
We were in Vegas the day the Monorail opened. I got to ride it during its inaugural day, which was pretty cool. Unfortunately, I’m a jaded New Yorker who rides the subway. To its credit, it was much cleaner than the MTA could ever hope to be (like it should have been, since it was NEW!). It was also much smoother. It’s sleek too. It’s more expensive than the subway - $3 one way, and there are lots of places you might want to go in Vegas that it doesn’t go. I heard that they were going to expand it further to the airport and to downtown Vegas.
Once you’re at your destination, you are more than likely in a casino. Casinos try to make it difficult for you to find your way out of them. I guess they figure you’ll get distracted by the slot machines when you’re tired of looking for the door. So if you’re using the Monorail to get to a Casino that’s kitty cornered from the one that it stops in, you might save some time taking a cab.
If you have kids or you like videogames, then Circus Circus is where its at. This casino is most up my alley. If you could bet on your videogame play, I would never leave! Obviously they have an arcade, they also have some olde style carnie games. There is a carousel, like the one from in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (but I think they’ve made some changes to it), there are circus acts AND there is an amusement park in the casino. No question, I wanna stay here! (well I also wanna check out the Luxxor too). The amusement park at Circus Circus has an indoor rollercoaster, a water ride, skee ball, video games and other fun stuff (mostly kiddy stuff).
Mike: 3.5 out of 5
Mike’s Park Comments: This will be a long park review, as Vegas is not one park, but a large grouping of attractions under the tent of one city.
I group this way because the attractions for each casino by themselves do not add up to much, in terms of park attractions. Collectively, they add up to a group of mediocre attractions.
But hey, Las Vegas has stuff going for it that most parks can’t even come close to comparing. What other amusement park lets me gamble and drink booze 24 hours a day? Also, the views of the strip offered by Speed, the Stratosphere rides, and the Manhattan Express are unlike any views you’ve ever seen on a roller coaster and, depending on your taste, may well be the best visuals for a roller coaster out there.
Sahara
The Sahara, without question, has the worst employees of all the Vegas attractions. It’s as if the Sahara found there ride employees from the Six Flags Magic Mountain hiring pool. Unenthusiastic, slow, and miserable, the Sahara employees will are like fun succubus, their blank eyes sucking out your joy if you dare meet their listless gaze.
The racing simulators are the worst in this regard. Sure, you can race the simulators as much as you want… if you can find anyone that works there. Even after you find one, expect to be ignored for anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes. This is not entirely there fault. It’s obvious the simulator requires to extra people to work it properly and the Sahara is, I guess, too cheap to hire those needed people. The few employees that exist here are overburdened and doing way too many jobs at once. Their pissy attitude, poor manners, and excruciatingly slow pace is still their fault, however.
Whether to take the Sahara all day ride pass is an interesting question. They charge $10 a ride for Speed, which is a coaster worth riding twice. The all day ride pass is $20, so after 2 rides it’s paid for itself, and after one Cyber Speedway run you’ve given yourself a bonus.
Catch is, none of this is really worth $20. If the speedway was easy to reride instead of the frustrating hel the employees make it, then maybe. But that’s not the case.
As for Speed, the lines are negligible and the Sahara demands a full train or a 2 minute wait between dispatches, which really wasn’t so bad. A 2 minute break is slightly pleasant when one is continually being launched upside down and then backwards over and over again.
Stratosphere
The Stratosphere ride employees show how good management can have a visible effect on a guest’s experience. It’s fairly obvious the Stratosphere employees have been instructed to engage guests in conversation – topics include asking about their favorite ride, what ride they are going on, etc. Though it’s obvious the employees are instructed to do this (EVREY employee will engage in this type you in this type of conversation if you are around them long enough), it really works. The Stratosphere was the most enjoyable time we had, partly because of the enthusiasm of the employees.
One negative note on the Stratosphere – there was a 2 hour wait to get past security the one time we tried to visit at night. People were buying tickets, then desperately trying to resell them once this was discovered. This was June, when it is supposed to be a slower time in Vegas, and on a weekday, so I’m not sure what was going on here but it sure wasn’t pretty.
New York New York
NY NY’s attraction offers the least value for your money. Though many trash the Manhattan Express, it’s really not as bad as everyone says it is. The problem, actually, is that’s all there is at NY NY. If you shell out the $25 for an all day ride pass, there’s nothing else you get for your money other then the coaster, which you probably won’t want to ride more then 3 times. Worse, the surrounding casino doesn’t offer great value, either. Since it’s “high end,” the slots and video poker pay out less, the cocktail waitresses are infrequent, and the drinks are more expensive.
So what are you left with? A mediocre coaster that gives you coaster head for $25. I’d accept this if there was ANY other reason to be hanging out at NY NY all day. I don’t think there is.
Circus Circus (Adventuredome)
Here’s my quick and dirty Adventuredome summary. The Adventuredome is really, really, cool looking but if you don’t have the money or the time, there’s nothing you really HAVE to ride here. OK, maybe Canyon Blaster once, but that’s about it.
Be warned about Circus Circus and the Adventuredome. It’s packed at all times with children. It’s like if Times Square in NYC was populated by 6-11 year olds – that’s Circus Circus. In your time there, you will probably step on a child, and several will run into your legs. If you are like me, you will find this maddening, and will get the hell out of there quickly.
Star Trek – Borg Invasion
I’m not a Star Trek fan. It’s not a roller coaster. So I skipped. Besides, what could I have written here that would have changed your mind? If you are a Trek fan, I could’ve written here that the “Star Trek Experience” is that you pay $30, sit down, and a guy in a Klingon suit takes a shit on your head AND YOU’D STILL GO DO IT ANYWAY. And if you’re not a Trek fan (like me), then you probably weren’t going even if I said the attraction changes life as we know it because you’d probably assume it was a Trek fan exaggerating.
So, moving on –
Summary
If you have to pick one thing to do while in Vegas, I’d recommend gambling, booze, and maybe strippers. If, however, you are doing that plus rides, then I suggest the Stratosphere. If you have extra money to blow that day, add the Sahara, which is down the block. And hey, while your down there, give the Adventuredome a walk through, as it’s down the block from the Sahara and across the street. Also, remember to try to get both day and night rides on these things. Shooting out on to the strip on Speed (the coaster) and seeing the strip lit up while buzzed on booze was fantastic. Same for Big Shot at night (which I wasn’t able to do at night on this trip but have on previous trips).
Vegas as a “park” has a lot of amusements, but most have nothing to do with rides.
Speed the Ride
Mike: 4.25 out of 5
Comments: Here’s a coaster that has the problem of only being good in one seat (the front). Sorely due for a restraint retrofit, Speed suffers from OTSRs and being fairly rough on the 2 seats we tried that weren’t the front (middle and the last seat). My sister got the 2nd car and was taken out of commission for the rest of the day due to the headbanging. Regardless, doing this launched coaster in the front at night is phenomenal, due to the lack of roughness and the breath taking view of the strip rushing before you.
Clarisse: 4.1 out of 5
Comments: On Speed, riders are launched from inside the Sahara hotel, then the track banks and follows along the outside of the hotel. The track goes through a tunnel, loops and goes straight up. The ride hangs for a bit, then it goes backwards the track and all of its elements. Halfway through the track, there is a second mini launch to help propel the car forward. As the car is coming back through the loop, the car goes really slow, making riders think that it may not make it.
NASCAR Speedway.
Clarisse: 3.6 out of 5
Comments: Oh serious pout! Mike beat me at this simulation racing game. But I really didn’t do as well as I should have. This sim is fun, but has a steep learning curve. On the ground floor, far away from the casino floor, nearby the entrance for the rollercoaster, sit the race simulation machines. In this sim, you can challenge your friends to a race around an oval racetrack. At the end of the race, they give you a printout outlining your performance during the race.
Riders get to sit in a simulated race car that for someone who has never been in a racecar before looks pretty good. Though their quest for safety somewhat ruins the imagination part of the simulation. Before the race starts, the car is raised on hydraulics up into the air and during the race the car banks from side to side. It was kind of jerky though and I somehow ended up punching myself during the ride. This feature is really cool, though I can understand how this could make it nauseating for some. I picked automatic transmission although I’m a manual transmission snob. Its just that Mike and Deb (Mike’s sister) both picked manual, and I didn’t want them to have an advantage over me (Next time I’ll use manual).
Riders look at the display on a screen in front of them through a windshield. There is a rear view mirror feature as well, but like all good sims, its impossible to understand everything about the display on the first try.
Grand Prix Racing
Clarisse: 3.8 out of 5
Comments: This is similar to NASCAR Speedway. This race car simulator ride has an elevated car on hydraulics. This ride simulates drag car racing, the kind with spoilers and everything. Instead of a door, this car has a canopy that goes over your head to seal you in. This ride feels more like a videogame than the other sim. The display is busier with more colors and more stuff. The track is harder to follow cause it curves more. If you hit the sides of the track or other cars a lot, and you can drive into the pit to get your car repaired. The car is hard to control and it moves around a lot on its hydrolics, which increases the potential for some riders to get ill. They give you a printout of your progress which is more detailed than NASCAR. It’s great fun to be in a video game, competing against your friends.
Big Shot
Clarisse: 4.35 out of 5
Comments: This is an S & S power tower, the thingy that shoots you up in the air and back down. This isn’t the best ride, but atop a 1,000+ foot tower it’s phenomenal. Some of this type of tower shoots you up and then down, but this one only shoots up. I guess this is to ward off any potential heart attacks. Its some scary shit (to some). From up here, the view of Vegas is extraordinary, you get to see the city and its suburbs and the undulations of mountains in the distance. There were cushions on the seats, which we’d never experienced before or since then. I came up with the theory that they were absorbent pads for the pee pee that sometimes gets startled out of riders.
Mike: 4.25 out of 5
Comments: The height of this S&S tower places it above (ouch! No pun intended!) any other tower ride. There’s a good few moments at the top where you can only see your feet, then the ground 1,000+ feet below. If this ran in drop mode instead up shooting up, I may well have given it a 5 as it could be one of the most frightening rides in America. As it is, in shot mode, it’s still pretty damn amazing.
X Scream
Clarisse: 4.9 out of 5
Comments: This attraction is the newest ride in Vegas, though not for long if the rumors are true. This ride is also on top of the Stratosphere. It is on the same level as High Roller which is a level below the Big Shot. For a pussy ride, X Scream is super phat! Technically, the track of X Scream is a see saw and the cars roll back and forth on the track. This track hangs off the side of the 1,000+ foot tower and riders get suspended from off the edge, looking down, with no over the shoulder restraints. Yeah….its great! If this ride was at any normal amusement park, and low to the ground, I would say its cute, but ultimately stupid. The clincher here is that it’s so high off the ground.
Mike: 3.5 out of 5
Comments: A ride that plays on a fear of heights and/or ones expectation that the ride will somehow fail. In 5-10 years, with poor maintenance, I might find this ride truly terrifying. But until then it offers simply another stunning way to enjoy the view.
High Roller
Clarisse: 3.5 out of 5
Comments: This is another attraction on top of the Stratosphere, but this one is a coaster. This is a truly suck ass coaster. Its kind of like of a kiddy coaster, with smallish hills. This slow coaster goes around the tower three times, and they give riders on the coaster 2 runs for a total of 6 times around the tower. But again the main redeeming quality is that its up really high. On our ride, there was a plane flying at the same level as the coaster.
Mike: 2.75 out of 5
Comments: A pleasant if unexceptional kiddy coaster offering pleasant views from 1,000 feet or so above Vegas that are problematic to enjoy due to overbearing, pointless and cumbersome OTSRs.
Manhattan Express
Clarisse: 4.34 out of 5
Comments: the 0 g roll was very nice. More coasters need to have them. The coaster is somewhat jarring leading me to punch myself in the chin. This coaster has nice visuals, including views of the mountains surrounding Vegas.You also get neato views of their statue of liberty and the strip. This is a front seat ride. The adjustable OTSRs are a bonus.
Mike: 3.25 out of 5
Comments: Not as rough as I was expecting, but still fairly unpleasant, even for out front seat ride.
Upon leaving the station inside the casino and ascending the lift hill, the train turns and we witnessed first Vegas and then mountains in the distance, then a perfectly setting sun. Like all rides I’m reviewing on the strip, this one gets extra points for fabulous visuals.
Canyon Blaster
Canyon Blaster 4.33
This coaster has 2 loops, a corkscrew and a helix in a tight space. All of these elements so close together creates high forces, higher than I expected. The coaster goes through and around a themed mountain, which I appreciated. The coaster and the track look like a crappy multilooper so I wasn’t surprised when the coaster was roughish. The amusment park at circus circus is indoors, enclosed by a dome (which let in lots of sunlight).
Mike: 3.25 out of 5
Comments: A fairly shitty sit down multi looper with painful OTSRs is made better due to the sheer cool, indoor, weirdness that is the Adventuredome. The coaster winds in and out this giant piece of really fake looking landscape scenery thing (I think it’s supposed to be a volcano or a mountain). Everything is packed so tightly in the adventuredome there’s a million things to look at during the course of the ride. Tons of different types of decrepit scenery and fake looking tunnels whiz by you through tight appearing clearances. This makes the ride a whole lot better then it is, which is a sit down, shitty, rough multi looper. Also a really cool ride to watch.