Trip Report for Lego Land
7/17/04
Crowds/Weather: Medium/Warm

Park Rating

Clarisse: 3.4 out of 5
Clarisse’s Park Comments: This park does a good job of appealing to select young children – that is the ones who like Legos and appreciate them. It also gives the accompanying adults eye candy to look at. Because of time constraints, we only spent half a day here. I wanted to do more of the attractions, like the monorail that runs on foot power, and the boat ride too! However, many of the rides here are geared for young kids so we ended up skipping most of those.

Minitown is fabulous, and is worth a visit just to check out. Minitown consists of replicas of stuff made out of Legos, and there are certain angles of it that are only visible from the boat ride. There are lots of statues all over the park of random things built out of Legos, like 3 elephants that were strategically placed in a planter, a fire man with a Dalmatian, Darth Vader, Dora the Explorer, a and a giant statue of Einstein. There is lots and lots of stuff to look at. However, if you don’t have kids with you, your visit will feel weird and maybe even creepy. We seemed to be the only childless adult visitors there.

Mike: 1 out of 5
Mike’s Park Comments: I feel both dirty and guilty for hating Legoland. This is a park designed for children with an enormous amount of intricate Lego sculptures. I mean, what kind of grumpy, Lego grinch am I?

What I am is a thrill seeking, grumpy, Lego grinch. My ability to contact my inner child seems to rest solely on the part of my inner child that likes going 60mph and upside down. So, of course, I found myself bored and in pain at a park built for 5-8 year olds.

There’s a small bit more to it then what I’ve already described. By Legoland, we knew we were very, very overbudget. With this in mind, the $90 we had to pay to walk through the door of this park irked me through the day. I wasn’t even planning on visiting the park, but Cla was very excited to go.

Which brings me to the Legos. The only think I could make out of Legos when I was a kid was a fucking square. That was my total level of “Lego expertise.” This may have been part of the problem for my total lack of enthusiasm for seeing all this shit (I mean, precious sculptures) that these people have made out of Legos. I just wasn’t impressed and didn’t care.

I did enjoy one section – the painting section. Famous paintings were replicated out of Legos. I like to think Andy Warhol would have loved seeing his famous Marilyn Monroe screen remade as Legos and placed in an amusement park.

Buried within this rather subjective bitching is an actual complaint. Every other park we’ve been to, no matter how much it’s primary function and purpose has been for kids, has also offered elements for teenage or adult enjoyment. Think of this like the better children’s movies. Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Shrek and Monsters Inc. are far superior to crap like Jimmy Neutron, Pokemon and the Power Rangers movie is that the former group of films neither contain elements and themes that adults can find enjoyable as well, making a kind of bridge for us adults to then discover “our inner child” and enjoy the show. Legoland, for me at least, didn’t have that bridge – and judging by Cla’s enjoyment of the park, my inability to find that bridge seems to be quite tied to how much one thinks Legos are cool. I don’t.

So go figure, someone who doesn’t like Legos much didn’t enjoy a place called Legoland. Shocking!

Fairy Tale Brook

Clarisse: 2.5 out of 5
Comments: This is a slow moving boat ride where you will not get wet. Riders are taken on a boat ride by fairy tale scenes and characters constructed out of Legos. Among the fairy tales represented are the 3 Little Pigs, Aladdin, Little Red Riding Hood, 3 Billy Goats Gruff & Hansel and Gretel. The Lego fairy tale structures are really amazing and but its not a very exciting ride.

Mike: 2 out of 5
Comments: Boat ride through Lego tableaux of fairy tales. Only 1 or 2 manage to actually have any wit whatsoever but oh well, it’s a kids ride.

Technic Coaster

Clarisse: 3.1 out of 5
Comments: The themeing is great on this mouse. Unfortunately the ride is not that much fun. It could have been great, since the first drop and initial speed are good, but then the coaster is ruined by over breaking. Riders board what will become a runaway test vehicle and the themeing is maintained throughout the ride by speakers talking to you along its length.

Mike: 2.6 out of 5
Comments: An over-braked mouse with slightly cool themeing.

4D Racers

Clarisse: 2.6 out of 5
Comments: This is a typical 4D movie. In addition to the movie being in 3D they have air blowing at you and foamy bubbles floating in the air to represent snow. The movie was really weak though – but I guess a 5-year-old boy would love it (considering its geared at him). The movie has an arrogant main character who is competing against ‘evil’ in a race. Evil almost bests him. Along the way he learns the value of team work and gets the girl.

Mike: 1 out of 5
Comments: Shitty 3D movie with a fair amount of “4D” effects added . I’d say this is one of the few attractions I’ve seen that may deserve the “4D” moniker. It does a lot. The only problem is, all the effects are really hokey. This does, however, match the content of the film, which is corny as hell. This is the type of kids attraction that panders to kids instead of making something fun.

Mini Land

Clarisse: 4.6 out of 5
Comments: Miniland alone makes it worth it to visit Lego land. IT’S AMAZING!!!!! Mini land is a section of the park that has recreations of buildings, scenes, people and events, all made out of Legos. Many of the Lego scenes have movable parts, like the interactive barnyard scene, the Mardi Gras scene and the marching band in front of the White House. Other scenes with moving elements were of boats, trucks and water skiers. They recreated San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf with the seals too! I also appreciated the small little touches, like a girl scout group hiking up a hill. They have reconstructions of Victorian mansions and New York City landmarks like the sides and inside of Grand Central Terminal. There is also a cute (albeit dated) “urban” scene. There is a section of Miniland that features 3D busts of different people. Shakespeare lives here along with Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and some dead presidents. There is an educational component to this section too. You can see the master builders through viewing booths like they were in a zoo. There is also a section of plaques discussing art topics such as color, shape and texture and how they relate to Lego building.

Mike: 2.4 out of 5
Comments: Impressive collection of Lego cities with tons of little Lego people reenacting tableaux and scenes. If you’re not into models or a kid, it falls short of being actually fun. But it was still kinda cool.